Nepal ahoy
In a week I fly to Nepal for a solo adventure!
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| @goflow42 |
I'm going to stay at Kopan Monastery on the outskirts of Kathmandu for a week of meditation then make my way to Pokhara for some yoga and to trek the Annapurna Circuit.
I've managed to pack a backpack of just over 7kg for my month long exploration.
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| @goflow42 |
My husband recently got sick with Covid, followed by my son and then my daughter. All three are on the mend thank goodness and I've been waiting to see whether I'll be next. I've been chastised by some for leaving them at all, let alone during the end-of-year exams, etc etc etc... All I know is I'm not getting any younger and the impulse that's always been in me to climb every mountain, is waning. And I definitely want to meet my death fully alive, not riddled with regrets for all the opportunities missed.
Personally I'm really inspired by watching women (often in midlife...rather late than never!) set themselves free of the expectations of society and more especially themselves.
Oh my goodness but we can keep ourselves so very small. And how does that serve?!
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| Zen masters |
As departure draws near I find myself relishing the gifts of home.
I love my cats and my local yoga studio.
I love my mountains and beaches.
My weekly Qi Gong circle.
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| Join us for the last one of 2022 this Saturday |
I have a fantastic pile of books from the recent Blown Away By Books lit fest organised by my gorgeous writers circle and my Slow Intimacy Conference at the university. My last lecture for the year is done and the marking for this academic year is almost finished en klaar (hallelujah!). It feels totally silly to leave now. Just as summer smiles on us and everything is so radiantly beautiful here in the Mother City.
When I booked the trip I was desperately unhappy and now I feel completely at peace.
Ain't it a gas how you can be drowning forever and then suddenly find yourself chilling in a hammock, reading a great book, sipping on coconut water. How distant the drama of struggling with existential dread seems. How foolish to go searching for something, when everything is exactly as it should be.
Complacency / Peace
I feel completely fine with any outcome. Unattached to anything.
It's sort of like having died. I feel I've let it all go. No need for acknowledgement or attainment.
There is no more anxiety.
Just a relaxed sense of being here now.
The gifts, the discomfort, the ephemeral nature of existence. All cool.
Nostalgia for what was, what I thought I wanted or thought I would be is drifting away.
It's as if I remember the outcome as well as the origin. I don't really mind which way the path leads. It's spiral nature encourages complete surrender. There is no more doing or going or gaining or losing.
I'm not sure I've ever felt quite so restful.
What a tremendous relief.
So my travel companion will be a tranquility in the face of the indignities of cattle class air travel and attendant guilt at the carbon footprint. Humility at our smallness in the fabric of humanity and the more-than-human. Quietude in learning. Less grasping. Less seeking. More gratitude.
I've always been a delighted traveler. My mom says at 10 days old I clapped my hands in glee as they packed me into their mini for the long road trip from Pretoria to Cape Town.
What a gift to see things afresh. Smelling new air, tasting, touching...the lived experience as an alien. So I'm sure I'll be a happy camper. Excited by my neat little "Asian vegetarian" meal on Qatar air, learning the ropes at the monastery, abiding by their regulations, the silence and digital detox, getting stronger as I trek for long days in the high Himalayas. Meeting so many lovely strangers. Walking with my body, my breath. And yes, my prattling mind. Which I find much kinder & clearer these days.
All the inevitable kindness of our vulnerable species on this precious planet.
And who knows...absolutely anything is possible!
On my return I'll be holding retreat at the glorious Buddhist Retreat Centre in KwaZulu Natal.
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| @goflow42 |
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