What if you simply Loved yourself?

As bookends to the Love Retreat that I dreamed up as a birthday present to myself with ASTAR practitioner Zelda from Heartwing Studio, I listened to this incredible talk by Tara Brach on Living with Courageous Presence.

LOVElies
I really don't believe in coincidence, at least if you choose to feel that life is meaningful rather than simply random, and Tara ends her talk with this poem:

Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of
wonder and grief. The light spraying
through the lace of the fern is as delicate
as the fibers of memory forming their web
around the knot in my throat. The breeze
makes the birds move from branch to branch
as this ache makes me look for those I’ve lost
in the next room, in the next song, in the laugh
of the next stranger. In the very center, under
it all, what we have that no one can take
away and all that we’ve lost face each other.
It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured
by a holiness that exists inside everything.
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.
~ Mark Nepo, “Adrift”
The day before leaving on retreat I reached up to choose a book to take along and this fell into my lap

A message from my dear wise friend Basho who crossed over many years ago. 
The power of his message resonated through every corner of my being.
 
For more of this extraordinary man's wisdom: https://www.facebook.com/notes/charisse-louw/basho-is-dead-long-live-basho/291163200264/


The weekend was hot and beautiful. True to the name of our lovely venue, The Blue Butterfly, there were showers of butterflies everywhere



There were 16 of us and truly it was a sweet 16. Each one came with rich gifts to share from a place of true vulnerability. I am always so moved to see how transformative the gift of healing time can be. I witnessed movement of bodies, minds and emotions. By the end of it we were all gazing into the mirror of one another with so much tenderness. 

After settling in on Friday afternoon - some chose to give themselves the gift of a nap, others floated in the big bath tub of the lake, while some walked the labyrinth - we met around a rainbow of fresh salads and then proceeded into our opening ceremony. 


Each chose an object from our nature table and described it. These words became descriptors of our own selves which we wore, first as labels, then as symbolic bracelets. Mine, which I was sure would break the very first night, is still here with me reminding me of what I am and will be. 
 


It was powerful to hear individuals be affirmed by the collective voice. 
"I am ancient." "I am beautiful." "I am joyful." 
Our voices resonated in the sacred space of being and becoming. 

Afterwards we meditated under the dazzling night sky. Then took our beginning into the sleep life. 

In the morning we soaked up the dew through the soles of our feet as we did some gentle tai chi, sunning and yoga in the cool of the day. 



After our breakfast we created books of love through the powerful therapeutic ASTAR process that became rich manifestations of ourselves. We witnessed one another's losses, joys, realizations and beauty. 



A delicious gazpacho lunch was followed by a languid afternoon of rest and processing. 

The evening meal of butternut gnocchi went down a treat before we wrote a secret letter of all that makes us feel so deeply unlovable. We transmuted this shame with a wild sage smudge and a beautiful cleansing bonfire beneath the whirling galaxies. 
Our astrologer Ilona spoke to us of a time of endings and beginnings which we felt to be oh so true. Rising as the phoenix from the ashes of that which prevents us from doing what is most important -- sitting easily with ourselves in utter self-compassion. 

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The night brought deep sleep for some, a myriad of dreams for others, some even experienced signs and wonders. 



On our last morning we breathed to The Long Time Sun blessing, used EFT to kindle deeper acceptance & love of ourselves before dancing freely as the butterflies that surrounded us on the dew fresh grass beneath those majestic mountains. 



In our closing circle we worked gently with clay and ended up with a manifestation of ourselves and the gifts that we need to give -- both to ourselves and the world at large. 
Truly a circle of tender loving care. 



During our brunch we wiped our tears and laughed and gave thanks for this work which is play and oh so very necessary. 

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