Lockdown Diaries: conscientious objector

Why do we write? It often helps me be clearer about what I'm thinking or feeling. But it's also about keeping a record. And sharing. Recently I unearthed my many journals starting at age 8 and ongoing. I only managed to skim through the first three before becoming overwhelmed by all the people I've been, all those I've loved and lost, some are still very much part of my story and I count myself blessed for it.

This unprecedented crisis has revealed some fairly horrifying aspects of humanity and today as I rage walked off the permissible paved road but within the designated tiny and inconvenient window of time (6-9am) and within the prescribed 5km radius from home, I saw with wonder the Natural World, going about its business, completely unconcerned as to whether people were wearing masks (while exercising solo?!) or walking their dogs on the Common (is it a park? Because that's forbidden!).

There is the stream burbling to itself, here a magnificent spider's web gleaming with dew, the mountains peak out from the autumn fog, everything crisp and clean. My pagan soul soared at the sight of an eagle. As I walked I felt how good it is to be alive, moving in Nature.

I live for it. And this is not just the whim of a hippy dippy pseudo spiritual privileged white girl. This is a Fact. Researched. We must be outside. We ARE Nature. And I decided there and then that if growing up in Apartheid South Africa and very much under the heavy hand of the patriarchy has taught me anything, it's that some Laws are unjust. This Hard Lockdown lasted 35 Days, now we've been granted some small liberties but with tons of logic defying restrictions. The people are, to use a perfect South Africanism, GATVOL.

I'm 100% in support of social distancing and hygiene awareness. But the people of South Africa are starving. I doubt that our country will ever recover from the economic crisis precipitated by this complete shut down. I know many people who have lost 100% of their income. I have been serving the most vulnerable in the townships and have seen first hand the disaster unfolding.

Personally we have weathered the roller coaster ride of emotions moment to moment. I documented our daily deeds, trying to focus on the few highlights.
The overarching win has been No Avoiding -- the issues in me (body, mind, soul) and in my home -- both the physical place and the relationships that inhabit it. I'm a gypsy & an escapist. I don't like being bound to domesticity. But this Pandemic has forced a coming home second to none. Time to take stock and be accountable. Discomforts between us as a family are unavoidable. We are called to step up and be better.

Much love to you all. Until we can meet again beneath the sky where we belong.

And here for posterity my Facebook #LockdownDiaries