Dancing in the Light with the Shadow: Temenos Retreat
Over the New Moon and Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, we gathered at Temenos – a beautiful sanctuary in McGregor – to kindle our light. This garden of treasures and healing sacred spaces was the perfect place to be after the many stresses of this year. In March, just before the whole world shut down thanks to the COVD-19 Pandemic, we gathered at Hearth and Soul in a joyous celebration of Summer.
This weekend we met outside in the golden afternoon and grounded through Qi Gong, practiced ancient sunning techniques to wake up our inner light and danced in the sun to remember our joy.
“Inside me there was everything I had believed was outside. There was, in particular, the sun, light, and all colors. There were even the shapes of objects and the distance between objects. Everything was there and movement as well… Light is an element that we carry inside us and which can grow there with as much abundance, variety, and intensity as it can outside of us…I could light myself…that is, I could create a light inside of me so alive, so large, and so near that my eyes, my physical eyes, or what remained of them, vibrated, almost to the point of hurting… God is there under a form that has the good luck to be neither religious, nor intellectual, nor sentimental, but quite simply alive.”
An extract from “And There Was Light: Autobiography of Jacques Lusseyran, Blind Hero of the French Revolution”
It’s the Vernal Equinox this Tuesday, the 22nd of September, and as the poet Theodore Roethke reminds us, “Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.”
“Ah! Up then from the ground sprang I
And hailed the earth with such a cry
As is not heard save from a man
Who has been dead, and lives again.
About the trees my arms I wound;
Like one gone mad I hugged the ground;
I raised my quivering arms on high;
I laughed and laughed into the sky...”
― Edna St. Vincent Millay, Renascence And Other Poems
Equinox means a perfect Balance of the Light & the Dark on our planet, which is our home.
“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” ~Jung
Dark matter & Dark Energy account for approximately 85% of the universe. But we can’t see Dark matter or energy…because it absorbs all light.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ~Jung
After the Big Bang, the universe began expanding outward. Scientists once, not so long ago, thought that it would eventually run out of energy, slowing down as gravity pulled the objects inside it together. But studies of distant supernovae revealed that the universe today is expanding faster than it was in the past, not slower, indicating that the expansion is accelerating. This would only be possible if the universe contained enough energy to overcome gravity — this is dark energy.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ― Brene Brown
The Light of our star, which we call the sun, stems from the fusion of Hydrogen atoms.
Light, or Visible Light, commonly refers to electromagnetic radiation that can be detected by the human eye. The entire electromagnetic spectrum is extremely broad, ranging from low energy radio waves, to high energy gamma rays.
“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.” ― E.M. Forster, A Room with a View
Electromagnetic radiation, as the name suggests, describes fluctuations of electric and magnetic fields, transporting energy at the Speed of Light (which is ~ 300,000 km/sec through a vacuum). Light can also be described in terms of a stream of photons, massless packets of energy, each travelling with wavelike properties at the speed of light. A photon is the smallest quantity (quantum) of energy which can be transported, and it was the realization that light travelled in discrete quanta that was the origins of Quantum Theory.
“But I also say this: that light is an invitation to happiness, and that happiness, when it’s done right, is a kind of holiness, palpable and redemptive.” ~Mary Oliver
Visible light is not inherently different from the other parts of the electromagnetic spectrum, with the exception that the human eye can detect visible waves. This in fact corresponds to only a very narrow window of the electromagnetic spectrum, ranging from about 400nm for violet light through to 700nm for red light. Radiation lower than 400nm is referred to as Ultra-Violet (UV) and radiation longer than 700nm is referred to as Infra-Red (IR), neither of which can be detected by the human eye. However, advanced scientific detectors, can be used to detect and measure photons across a much broader range of the electromagnetic spectrum than the eye can detect.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
In meditation we come face to face with both this darkness & this light that we are, that the universe is. All that is.
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” ~Jung
René Descartes once described the pineal gland or Third Eye as “the principal seat of the soul.”
Though located in your brain, the pineal gland is actually a crucial part of your endocrine system, which regulates major bodily processes such as growth, metabolism, and sexual development through the release and control of hormones. The gland translates nerve signals from the sympathetic nervous system into hormone signals.
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~Jung
The pineal gland was commonly dubbed the “third eye” for many reasons, including its location deep in the center of the brain and its connection to light. Mystic and esoteric spiritual traditions suggest it serves as a metaphysical connection between the physical and spiritual worlds.
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. Attention is the beginning of devotion.” ― Mary Oliver
As scientists have learned more about the functions of the pineal gland, they’ve learned it synthesizes the hormone melatonin from the neurotransmitter serotonin. Melatonin production determines your sleep-wake cycles and is purely determined by the detection of light and dark. The retina sends these signals to a brain region known as the hypothalamus, which passes them on to the pineal gland.
“When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin
The more light your brain detects, the less melatonin it produces, and vice versa. Melatonin levels are highest at night to help us sleep.
Melatonin inhibits the release of pituitary reproductive hormones, known as gonadotropins, from the pituitary gland, affecting male and female reproductive organs. In this way, melatonin—and therefore the pineal gland—regulates sexual development.
In the vast abyss before time, self
is not, and soul commingles
with mist, and rock, and light. In time,
soul brings the misty self to be.
Then slow time hardens self to stone
while ever lightening the soul,
till soul can loose its hold of self
and both are free and can return
to vastness and dissolve in light,
the long light after time.
~ Ursula K Le Guin
Goethe’s last words were, “More light! More light!”
“I see black light,” were Victor Hugo’s last words.
While my guru Mary Oliver wrote:
“maybe death
isn't darkness, after all,
but so much light
wrapping itself around us--”
Then there’s this not so little nugget that we can meditate on for many many moons:
“And the light shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not.”
― Holy Bible: King James Version St John 1:4-5
Both the poets in our circle and those who had never written before enjoyed a Free Write based on these beautiful light quotes.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
Some discovered new artists:
“There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.”
― Leonard Cohen
And others found the same message returning again and again:
“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” ― L.R. Knost
We then practiced Conversation as Meditation
Remembering that we gather together in Trust.
We all need help. We all need love. We all struggle.
We are not separate.
Vulnerability allows us to more fully love and support one another.
"A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them. As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." ~Jung
We are all full of light…and shadow.
Each one of us met now on purpose. It was our path.
Resting in this profound knowing that all is exactly as it should be.
Now and always.
But little by little, |
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as you left their voice behind, |
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the stars began to burn |
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through the sheets of clouds, |
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and there was a new voice |
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which you slowly |
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recognized as your own, |
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that kept you company |
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as you strode deeper and deeper |
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into the world, |
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determined to do |
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the only thing you could do -- |
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determined to save |
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the only life that you could save. ~Mary Oliver |
We chose a word intuitively.
This word could be used as a mantra in meditation & we spoke it aloud into our circle.
We practiced a Sunset walking meditation on the Labyrinth.
In silence, breathe in for 4 steps and out for 4 steps.
We lay our unlit candles (that had last been lit at Hearth and Soul) in the centre while saying our Intention word.
A delicious Dinner at Tebaldi’s was followed by our Evening Meditation at The Well where we practiced Deepak Chopra’s STOP:
S-stop
T-Take 3 deep breaths and smile everywhere in your body
O-observe the sensations in your body
P-proceed with compassion
In meditation we prioritise compassion.
But also realise that discomfort is often where we learn compassion best.
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” ~ Jung
“And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know?
Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.”
― Mary Oliver, Evidence: Poems
Soften, soften, soften.
Release tension.
Realise you can always surrender more.
Deepen your tenderness.
Hold your own hand.
Breathe.
Be kind.
We held Noble Silence from after Dinner through evening Meditation and the Morning meditation and our private breakfasts where we could practice Eating Meditation until after Qi Gong.
Silence is an invitation to be more mindful. We notice the prattling monkey mind and give it space and patience. Mindfully our every gesture and thought become a prayer. We undressed, bathed, and put ourselves to bed as we we would the Beloved.
We walked to and from The Well mindfully.
We tenderly ministered to ourselves.
Life is an act of devotion.
On Saturday morning we meditated in The Little Way Chapel. We explored the Inner Smile Meditation and connected with the organs of the body.
Then practiced eating meditation in solitude before the Qi Gong 6 Healing Breaths on The Spiral.
We started with a Standing Meditation
The 6 Healing Breaths:
Liver/Eyes/Gallbladder – Shhhhhuuu –
Anger, frustration, jealousy, envy –
Wood, Green, Spring
Kindness & Generosity, movement, energy, growth, life, potential
Heart / Small Intestines -- Heeeww—
Hate, cruelty, impatience –
Fire, red, summer
Love, joy, happiness, creativity, passion
Stomach/Spleen/Pancreas – Whoooo --
Worry, anxiety, mistrust –
Earth, Yellow, Late Summer
Fairness, openness, trust, stability, support
Lungs/Skin/Large Intestine – Tsuuu –
Sadness, depression, grief –
Metal, White, Autumn
Courage, righteousness, gathering up, where the sky meets the earth
Kidneys/Ears/Bladder – Chiuuu --
Fear –
Water, Blue, Winter
Gentleness, Calmness, Silence
Walking through the garden, we found something that represents each of the 5 elements to us.
We broke our Noble Silence in spectacular style by embodying the emotions we had been working with in meditation and Qi Gong. We listened to music that helped us conjure the emotions and then mirrored them in pairs. We were soon laughing our heads off at our silly antics. We realized that emotions don’t need our buy in. They can be messy and ridiculous, but also fun and worth integrating.
We then self-soothed with Mandalas, a Sanskrit word that means centre.
In the Hindu and Buddhist traditions, mandalas are an object of meditation to aid in one’s spiritual development. The imagery depicts the universe and the symbols represent one’s spiritual journey, the cycles of birth-life-death, and the interconnectedness of all living things. The Hindu tradition focuses on the realization of the self as one with the divine. Whereas in the Buddhist tradition, the emphasis is on the potential for enlightenment (Buddha-nature) and the pictures within the mandalas illustrate the obstacles that one has to overcome in order to cultivate compassion and wisdom.
Mandalas are found across all cultures: Chinese yin yang, Christian rose window/rosary/halo, Celtic spirals & knots, Mayan calendar/Native American medicine wheels/dream catchers/Navajo Sand Paintings, Labyrinth, Hindu Yantra, Tibetan Sand Mandalas
Mandalas are found everywhere in nature, for example in snowflakes, flowers, shells and nautilus.
The cyclical patterns of the moon and seasons are also seen as mandalas.
Personal Mandalas are contemplative drawings for personal insight and healing.
Carl J. Jung, Swiss psychiatrist introduced to the West the practice of creating mandalas for self-expression, discovery, and healing. In Jung’s daily practice of creating mandalas, he discovered that the shapes, colors, and symbols reflected his mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being at the time that he created them. He noticed how his mandala drawings changed as his mental and emotional states changed. Reflecting on these mandala drawings, Jung concluded that our subconscious and conscious selves are always seeking balance. In Jung’s work with his clients, he would have them draw mandalas. He observed that through creating mandalas, it helped to soothe patients experiencing chaotic psychological states. Jung also identified universal patterns and archetypes that reoccurred in his and his clients’ mandalas.
We enjoyed our lunch and Free time – some courageous souls swam, others walked in the beautiful surrounds, some napped or spent time in the sanctuaries.
After dinner we held Japa Meditation in The Well where we chanted “Om Laghu Bhavam” I am Light made Conscious.
Here is some of the sacred music we enjoyed this weekend.
In our Morning Meditation in the Chapel we practiced Kapalbhati breath and Maha Bandha.
We feasted at Tebaldi’s before dancing in the sun and sharing deeply guided by the divine masculine in Jung and the feminine in Mary Oliver.
“The Uses Of Sorrow
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver, Thirst
“Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event.” ~Jung
“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.”
― Mary Oliver
“I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole.” ~Jung
“Things take the time they take.
Don't worry.
How many roads did St. Augustine follow before he became St. Augustine?”
― Mary Oliver
“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” ~Jung
“Therefore, dark past,
I’m about to do it.
I’m about to forgive you
for everything.”
― Mary Oliver
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” ~Jung
“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome.
I want to be improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing,
as though I had wings.”
~ Mary Oliver
A heartfelt thanks to Annette for bringing a gift from her lovely Earth friendly Body friendly Essential Salts for everyone. She provides natural products at the best prices, delivers with a bubbly smile and a warm chat. Loveliest lady ever.
And thank you to Susan for her Lavender Oil which is soothing for body and soul and social conscience as well as the delicious lavender rooibos and honeybush teas that went down a treat and that she donated to the group since she couldn’t join us this time.
Set yourself free. Be gentle.
It’s absolutely our first and most important work of our lives.
“It is not depression or anxiety that truly hurts us. It is our active resistance against these states of mind and body. If you wake up with low energy, hopeless thoughts, and a lack of motivation - that is a signal from you to you. That is a sure sign that something in your mind or in your life is making you sick, and you must attend to that signal. But what do most people do? They hate their depressed feelings. They think "Why me?" They push them down. They take a pill. And so, the feelings return again and again, knocking at your door with a message while you turn up all the noise in your cave, refusing to hear the knocks. Madness. Open the door. Invite in depression. Invite anxiety. Invite self-hatred. Invite shame. Hear their message. Give them a hug. Accept their tirades as exaggerated mistruths typical of any upset person. Love your darkness and you shall know your light.”
― Vironika Tugaleva
“When it’s over, I
want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
~Mary Oliver
My next retreat will be held at beautiful Bodhi Khaya at the end of February.
Please reserve your place goflow42@gmail.com
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