Embodied: how to be at ease in your body
Our bodies take one hella beating over the years. When we're young and we hardly know ourselves, we already begin to find fault and push ourselves in what can become self-defeating ways. We decide we don't like the shape of our nose, or the curve of our thighs. We decide life would be better with different skin, bra size, hair colour, etc, etc, etc. I certainly went through it all. The self-flagellation. I was a dancer and an A-type Romantic. Things could always be ... better.
What's worse is that our culture makes us believe that we're good to want to improve on our perfectly-designed-for-us bodies. I have heard those of a spiritual ilk refer to the body as a "meat suit." While I think this might further the cause of conscious eating (why eat any meat if you prefer not to cannibalize?) I don't think it helps us learn one of our most valuable Life Lessons -- honour your body.
You only get one. And it's unique. Nobody truly knows what it's like to inhabit another person's skin. Let alone their bones, organs, muscles. Every moment in this body is an unfolding mystery.
I honestly think our minds are a lot less interesting. Our stories rather samey-same. This is a radical evolution in my thinking as I used to think my mind was the most interesting thing about me. The longer you spend in mindful observation, whether that take the form of seated meditation or just a wee bit of perspective from time to time, the less impressed you become by the shenanigans of our monkey minds.
They are arch deceivers that's for sure. They tell rollicking good lies and convince us completely that whatever yarn they've spun is the gospel truth. He said, she said and they did...and we believe it, hook line and sinker, we are caught in a web of our own deception. Just try it. You can convince yourself of anything in no time at all. It's also a lovely thing that we can change our minds. And that it's never too late for a paradigm shift, which can quite literally change your life.
The body on the other hand. It speaks the truth. Often most inconveniently!
I love good stand-up comedy because it tells the truth in a way that makes it more digestible, besides which laughter is a great antidote to whatever ails you. Here Beth Stelling interrogates a particularly female relationship with weight: "food's interesting like that...you show your work."
After 5 long weeks of poor health and trying my foolproof method for wellness, viz. still my mind and "just" be with myself compassionately, I decided to go for the Cranio-Sacral Therapy I had actually felt prompted to have before we left on our epic journey to Namibia. I hadn't had a Cranio-Sacral treatment in about 20 years, but suddenly knew in December last year that I needed one.
Well I certainly did need it. I felt instant relief from the gnawing TMJ pain that is like toothache only worse and had over a month consumed the left side of my face and all of my attention. Julia Nowicki is a gifted therapist who is also a Cape Town institution -- widely recognised as Muizenberg's Queen of Belly-dancing. She features in Tracey Farren's remarkable book about a sex worker Whiplash and plays her redemptive part in the powerful film adaptation Tess.
She said to me: Honour your body for protecting you the best it knew how.
We all suffer many shocks and traumas throughout our lifetime and these live on in the body, even if we appear to have made some modicum of peace with our minds. Sometimes long forgotten or "resolved" issues come home to roost many years or even decades later.
The truism that children are resilient needs reconsideration. Just because they appear to "gaan maar aan" as we say in the South African version of "keep calm and carry on", doesn't mean that all is well. The holding patterns in the body can often turn on us quite spectacularly in later life.
If nothing else, growing older is most humbling. There's no avoiding the stories even when you see them as just that. And it's not just our own choices and misadventures that are written large on the very fabric of our beings, it's our parents' and their parents'. Call it epigenetics or karma.
As we navigate the spiral way of our own embodiment I give thanks for those who help us along the way.
My mom shared this wonderful talk by Jack Kornfield and it served as a balm and reminder of all the hard-won and gently come by Truths of these four decades.
He says it so beautifully: Learn to sit in the midst of your stories.
PS. Just a reminder to take radical responsibility for yourself & choose your healers carefully
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You only get one. And it's unique. Nobody truly knows what it's like to inhabit another person's skin. Let alone their bones, organs, muscles. Every moment in this body is an unfolding mystery.
I honestly think our minds are a lot less interesting. Our stories rather samey-same. This is a radical evolution in my thinking as I used to think my mind was the most interesting thing about me. The longer you spend in mindful observation, whether that take the form of seated meditation or just a wee bit of perspective from time to time, the less impressed you become by the shenanigans of our monkey minds.
They are arch deceivers that's for sure. They tell rollicking good lies and convince us completely that whatever yarn they've spun is the gospel truth. He said, she said and they did...and we believe it, hook line and sinker, we are caught in a web of our own deception. Just try it. You can convince yourself of anything in no time at all. It's also a lovely thing that we can change our minds. And that it's never too late for a paradigm shift, which can quite literally change your life.
The body on the other hand. It speaks the truth. Often most inconveniently!
I love good stand-up comedy because it tells the truth in a way that makes it more digestible, besides which laughter is a great antidote to whatever ails you. Here Beth Stelling interrogates a particularly female relationship with weight: "food's interesting like that...you show your work."
After 5 long weeks of poor health and trying my foolproof method for wellness, viz. still my mind and "just" be with myself compassionately, I decided to go for the Cranio-Sacral Therapy I had actually felt prompted to have before we left on our epic journey to Namibia. I hadn't had a Cranio-Sacral treatment in about 20 years, but suddenly knew in December last year that I needed one.
Well I certainly did need it. I felt instant relief from the gnawing TMJ pain that is like toothache only worse and had over a month consumed the left side of my face and all of my attention. Julia Nowicki is a gifted therapist who is also a Cape Town institution -- widely recognised as Muizenberg's Queen of Belly-dancing. She features in Tracey Farren's remarkable book about a sex worker Whiplash and plays her redemptive part in the powerful film adaptation Tess.
She said to me: Honour your body for protecting you the best it knew how.
We all suffer many shocks and traumas throughout our lifetime and these live on in the body, even if we appear to have made some modicum of peace with our minds. Sometimes long forgotten or "resolved" issues come home to roost many years or even decades later.
The truism that children are resilient needs reconsideration. Just because they appear to "gaan maar aan" as we say in the South African version of "keep calm and carry on", doesn't mean that all is well. The holding patterns in the body can often turn on us quite spectacularly in later life.
If nothing else, growing older is most humbling. There's no avoiding the stories even when you see them as just that. And it's not just our own choices and misadventures that are written large on the very fabric of our beings, it's our parents' and their parents'. Call it epigenetics or karma.
As we navigate the spiral way of our own embodiment I give thanks for those who help us along the way.
My mom shared this wonderful talk by Jack Kornfield and it served as a balm and reminder of all the hard-won and gently come by Truths of these four decades.
He says it so beautifully: Learn to sit in the midst of your stories.
PS. Just a reminder to take radical responsibility for yourself & choose your healers carefully
Subscribe to Foot Sore & Fancy Free by Email
And please verify your email address (check your junkmail!)
Thanks :)
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