Fear

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

― Frank Herbert, Dune
This moment in David Lynch's bloated interpretation of sci-fi classic Dune really left an impression on prepubescent me. I belted out along with Nirvana's teen anthem "With the lights out, it's less dangerous" meanwhile in truth I was afraid of absolutely everything including the Swart Gevaar growing up in Apartheid South Africa. The New South Africa isn't exactly a land where the lion and lamb rest side by side easily either. A wonderful book called Green Lion by local Henrietta Rose-Innes is a fantastic allegory for the uneasy place we inhabit physically, mentally, spiritually.

I've been writing my memoir as a path to healing. We all are telling our stories whether we're conscious of it or not, if to no one else but ourselves. Part of the process is identifying a theme that runs through the story of your life. Mine is Fear.

As I drove to our writers meet-up on Tuesday I felt sick with Fear. When you're completely honest and vulnerable it can be terrifying. I shared a piece I'd written on the violent rape and murder of two of my students, while weeping and shaking openly. The trauma lives on in my body despite years of processing through every technique in the book. Today we hear of yet another child taken violently in Cape Town. It hurts us all. This violence.

Every day the glorious Brainpickings provides a bouquet of soul stirring philosophy. It's often resonant with my own thoughts. Here Hannah Arendt reminds us that the eternal now is where peace resides -- explaining the bliss of meditation & mindfulness most eloquently.

 Audre Lorde on the painful gift of fear:

 This rallying call from Toni Morrison:

I realise that above all creative work requires courage. That nothing worth doing will come without some degree of Fear.

Here I am bolstering my own efforts to tell the truth, at least to myself, by drawing on the work of others.

Thank you Brave Artists. You inspire me. You help us all heal. 

Kendrick Lamar's rap meditation on Fear 


Here Jungian James Hollis talks about our Fear Management Systems: 


Tara Brach's beautiful talk on Facing our Fear:


Keep on keeping on.

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