Good Grief: Game of Thrones & Avengers End Game

It's an interesting moment in popular culture. As a child of post-modernism I don't look down upon mass media. Rather I honour it for the reflection it gives us of our society. In fact I found such solace in movies as a young woman that when studying medicine proved soul destroying I decided to lick my wounds at film school, then went on to teach film and get a Master's Degree from the Cinema Studies department at New York University.

I love movies/series for being amongst our best story tellers -- they allow us to fully inhabit characters' experiences, thereby allowing for that Ancient Greek notion of catharsis. A purging of our own joys and sorrows.

I'm quite convinced that the reason we developed language is so that we can share our stories, thereby helping one another make sense of this mystery -- life.

If you're not convinced please listen to this angel Dr Rachel Naomi Remen, shared with me by another angel -- thank you Sandy. 



Wrapped around life inescapably is Death.

Two huge events in entertainment of late -- the final season of Game of Thrones which has captured the imagination of millions for a decade and the latest installment of the Avengers movies -- both deal almost entirely with grief.

I wasn't particularly keen on either one of these to be honest. Both too violent and big-budget flash for my tastes. But I was pleasantly surprised by the sensitivity with which they ruminate on what loss does to the human spirit and psyche. Avengers Endgame is a very long movie and most of it is about what happens to heroes when they've lost the ones they love. Some turn mean, others reclusive, some vengeful. Thor becomes the most relatable superhero of all time as he eats his feelings and distracts himself with video games. He's the "comic relief" in what is otherwise an incredibly sombre and slow "action movie." Yes, it's funny to see the exquisitely chiselled Chris Hemsworth in a fat suit, but it's also heart breaking.

Thor finds comfort in guac

I watched this talk by Johann Hari today (thanks mom) and I recommend it to anyone who has ever wrestled the black dog of depression or known anyone who walks through life hand-in-hand with their shadow. I imagine that's everyone, at least at some point along their journey.


As for the Mother of Dragons who has turned full Mad Queen -- I get you. It's incredibly easy to lose all respect for life when those you love are taken too soon in appalling ways. Dear Danny needs help.
I would welcome her to Flow, the space I created to help me through my own crushing grief, with open arms. She's lost everything -- family, friends, love. Despite the fan outcry on various online forums, I find her character arc completely believable. Perhaps those who have not yet had to sit with their own shadow cannot believe the ugly side of suffering. Everyone prefers pretty in the end.

We speak of grief and depression as though they could be neatly contained. We even romanticise them. The truth is the road is long and spiral. There is no end point. If you can be okay with that, your suffering will diminish or at least it will cease to rule you.

Of course both these movies are very much about Power.
Who has it, who wants it, what lengths they'll go to to get it.

I have learned that we are indeed all powerful.
We DO create our reality.
We are also completely powerless and need to learn how to surrender ever more to what is, exactly as it is.
This frustrating contradiction in terms is part of the tango we each must dance with our shadow.

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